jem cook prisioner


Jem Cook, prisoner of war, a captive for crimes against music and fake alluring. Sentenced to a life of obscurity.  

unreplicable dog


The Dog; he thinks in a visual language that he can see which is distracting and can make him look a bit gormless like he can't even think about stakeholder pensions or something.  

r.kelly kids


The R.Kelly:  he leans, he thinks about things grown men should't think about.  The mist comes, with it the local police department with his latest release because you can imprision such talent.

seagull spider


The seagull; he sits, angry, looking out over the great whispy spider web that smothers the Algarve, he thinks, he makes an annoying sqwark, he dies. 


sue lawley


Power smiles, power fringe, AND she read the mother-f**king nineteen nineties news, deal with it.

greetings from iraq


bombed, bombed, bombed, bombed.

red lead


 Another red lead lady? Are you mental? You don't want a different colour? Perhaps anyone of this kaleidoscopic range in my suitcase, just red? Like your bag and that hat and that lead you ALEADY HAVE.  £24.99 please.

such fun


This is so fun, oh it's really fun, isn't it? Is it? You're right it's the best fun ever! I love these old cars with their lack of and suspension and speed and windscreens and doors don't you?

imaginary friend


This is by Great Grandad Douglas with his imaginary friend loose Lucy, 
the adventures they got up to.

Tit tennis


?

scribbles


I don't understand it, but I wish it landed on my doorstep.

spit roast


Non descript burning animal carcasses and self-mocking hats, check.

bear rev


Bear Graham

happy fireman


Stop tripping up the happy fireman. And give him back his lighter.

shit fountain


And the centrepiece of this cuboidial creation of architectural beauty, a fountain so staggering several brightly coloured jumper wearing humans will gather for seconds to bask in it's majesty.

fat baskets


Fat baskets.

gay rings


The wonder of gay rings

dubious puppet hair


Giant puppets seen with dubious facial hair ringing bells

DO IT


Ok I'll barricade myself in a cupboard until I'm dead or until you two die.

hand bridge


Do I look impressed?  You're gonna have to duck that tosspot of a head to get under this bastard hand-bridge.

cooked jesus


Who ordered the well done baby jesus?

Thora pixel


The BBC had to slightly pixelate Thora Hird as her religious views make cart's vommit.  

greetings from london


Not quite Disney World, not even Euro Disney.

tower in the hills


This, is, brilliant.



withdrawn from bullshit


"...We ave withdrawn, from bullshit - very sad!"


"Quite hot, in hell."

renaissance updated


The renaissance, recreated?

mo money, mo problems


Mo money, Mo problems, Mo glowing women following you asking how you got those eyes to look so detatched and joyless.

doll face


You know when you start drawing faces and you do a nice neat nose then work out with some modest eyes, lips and seagull brows and you're really happy, then you step back and realise no amount of blusher with make this face look propotionally normal. Fuck it, give her something to sell.  It's like she knows you fucked her up.   Ok, have a cross too.

puppets got wood


"So what did you do at work experience today Brandon?"
"I created a historical scene all by myself."